The Evolution of My Thinking on Guns

Like most boys growing up in the 1960’s, I loved playing with guns (toy guns of course.) I remember having a “cap gun”, a metal western cowboy style revolver that had a roll of paper tape with a small amount of powder imbedded on it. Every time you pulled the trigger a bit of that tape would roll out , allowing the hammer to strike it, producing a tiny explosion intended to simulate the sound of a real gun firing. A lot of fun when you’re (who remembers?) 6 or 7 years old.

As we got older and graduated to playing with fireworks, we noticed that if you slid a lit firecracker down the barrel of the toy gun, the explosion would produce a much more realistic simulation. That was even more fun. More fun yet was when a bunch of us decided to stage a ‘murder’ in a local Chinese laundry. The plan was for one of us to walk into the store and then, seconds later, another one of us would burst in and shoot the first one down in cold blood. Being that we had no laundry or any other excuse going into the store, we decided that the first one would make believe he needed to know what time it was and then ask the proprietor if he could tell us. This was when the second one would burst into the store wearing a handkerchief over his face yelling “there you are, you motherfucker!” Then, pointing the toy gun (which would be prepared outside with a lit firecracker) at the “victim”, a very realistic seeming shot would ring out.

The ploy was executed to perfection. The “victim” then clutched his midsection (just like Lee Harvey Oswald did) and groaned “aaaah, he got me!” Doubled over, groaning in pain, he staggered out of the store. We all then ran around the block, came back around and waited across the street to see if the ‘Chinaman’ called the police. But they never arrived.

There were some obvious flaws in our prank. The first was underestimating the wile of the Chinese Immigrant entrepreneur whose poor English-speaking ability and brief time spent on our shores led us to believe he might not understand the nuances of American culture, thus making him more susceptible to our deceit. But he must have judged that an eleven year old, walking into his store to ask if he knew what time it was when there was a large clock on the wall right behind him (which was easily visible from the street) might be up to something. Then, when the second eleven year old burst in brandishing a “gun”, he must have surmised that was the “something” he was up to. Perhaps the acting performance, after getting “shot”, was not quite Oscar worthy, either.

We were not deterred by these flaws from trying this escapade again. We waited about a month in order to give the ‘Chinaman’ enough time to forget the original incident. This time we had someone else go into the store and ask what time it was. However, this second attempt resulted in the same outcome despite adding more dialogue like: “No, don’t shoot’ and ‘I’ll pay you back the money, I swear.’ Two consecutive failures did not discourage us from trying the scheme two or three more times, with less and less days in between attempts, due to our impatience with achieving the desired results.

The hardworking Immigrant from the Far East played to stereotype; his reaction to our antics remained inscrutable.

I liked War Movies and the military themed TV shows Combat and Rat Patrol. We loved to sneak around our neighbors’ backyards and play “War.” The best toy gun I ever had, by far, was my pump-action Dick Tracy Water Rifle, a 1960’s version of the SuperSoaker. I could easily out duel my older brother’s friends, who were armed with garden hoses, by using my water-shooting replica of Tracy’s preferred crime fighting weapon. But my preoccupation with guns didn’t last past adolescence. Apparently, as my fascination with girls increased, I eventually stopped thinking about guns altogether.

I wasn’t precisely aware of the laws concerning gun ownership among adults in Queens, NY, but my general impression was that it was illegal for anyone to have one, except if you were a cop. This seemed to make sense to me for many reasons. Though I loved playing with guns as a kid, I was always fully aware that it was all make-believe fun and that real guns were extremely dangerous. Unless you were a cop, if you had a gun or wanted one, to me that signaled that you wanted to use it, which made you a very dangerous person. Guns seemed much better off in the hands of the police, who did a pretty good job of protecting us from criminals.

For me, another strong reason to keep guns out of the hands of the general population was supported by my observations of human behavior, which had informed me that at least 30% of the general population were complete assholes.

One time, when I was a kid, I was walking down my block when I saw two male adults crouching down by the base of a tree. There was a young kid standing off to the side, watching them. Suddenly, the adults sprang away from the tree. As I approached the tree, I wondered, ‘what the heck are they doing?’ Then, just as I got next to the tree there was a giant “KABOOM.” My body jolted in shock, I felt a concussion of air, my right ear became temporarily deaf and then I realized they had just set off an M-80 firecracker. Apparently, these “responsible adults” were showing the young kid the right way to play with powerful fireworks. I looked at the adults in disbelief, expecting them to be apologizing profusely. But not a word. They just looked right through me as if I was invisible, completely ignoring what just happened. Way to teach your kid, you fucking assholes.

When I was a kid my family used to take country vacations in New Jersey with my aunt and uncle and cousins. We liked to take walks along the countryside while we talked, laughed and had a good time. Once, seemingly out of nowhere, we came across a rinky-dink little amusement park that was closed and not operating. I don’t remember the details, maybe there was a closed gate, maybe it said do not enter or maybe it even said no trespassing. I guess my parents just wanted to let the kids look at the rides up close. Well, in a matter of seconds some fat ugly nasty slob comes out of his house pointing a rifle or shotgun at us telling us to get off his property. His equally fat ugly nasty slob of a wife came out and yelled something at us in a snarling voice. Years later when I saw the movie Deliverance, I thought I recognized that couple pointing the gun at us.

Can you imagine someone pointing a gun at a couple of families with young children under the age of ten? Let me tell you, it was quite a shock. Do you know who imagines pointing guns at people who cross onto his property? Right-wing gun nut and emerging spokesperson for the “right to have any kind and as many guns as you want”, Ted Nugent. Here’s a quote from the demented rocker: “I’m a good neighbor, I have a nice clean borderline, but if you cross it, I’ll kill ya.”

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-february-12-2013/back-in-black---action-stars---gun-control

In some parts of the country that amusement park guy would have been in his rights to blow some heads off.
Hey, they were trespassing on his property. He felt threatened. He saw one of the kids going for a rock. He was standing his ground.
It probably wouldn’t even go to trial.

I didn’t become aware of the extent of the “gun culture” in other parts of the country until I got older. When I would see these gun shows and gun shops with those massive amounts of firearms (hundreds of different types of guns and hundreds of every single type) I couldn’t help thinking, these people are crazy. Why do you need so many fucking guns? Unless you’re Yosemite Sam, you can only shoot one at a time. And even Sam could only handle two at a time. Do you need them to shoot animals for fun? You’re the ones who believe in God, aren’t they His creatures? These nuts looked like they were getting ready to fight World War Three. Then I heard about the Second Amendment interpretation that ‘the right to bear arms’ was to defend us against our government when it inevitably turns tyrannical. WTF? That was the craziest idea yet.

So anyway, I began to view people's love of guns the way conservatives view love of the same sex. Like something sick and perverted. But there’s a big difference between conservatives' disgust for ‘the love that dare not speak its name” and my disdain for “the love that just won’t shut the fuck up.” Homosexuality does not infringe on other people’s rights. The thought of what other consenting adults might be doing in their bedroom might offend your sensibilities, but NOT discriminating against gay people won’t make you gay. Discriminating against gay people won’t protect you from being gay either. On the other hand, your ‘right’ to indulge your gun fetish to your heart’s content, without any ‘well regulated’ restrictions, infringes on my right to be safe.

However, because I always try to consider other points of view as carefully as possible, my opinion on guns has moderated to an extent. I no longer think that all guns should be banned. I now think that concealed-carry laws should be relaxed. But I also believe in much smarter and stricter gun controls. Oh, I still think that the idea of ‘the right to bear arms to defend against government’ is really crazy. It really is. I know that statement would outrage conservatives. And even most other Americans seem to accept conservatives' 2nd Amendment interpretation to a degree. But have you ever given that interpretation some thought? I mean, if you follow through with the idea of arming the population so that 'they' can wage a revolution, you will inevitably run into a myriad of problems. I'll delve into that in a future post.